Why do I not text anyone when I am depressed

I have been suffering from depression for years, most of which untreated, and two days in without my meds I am already experiencing a new episode.

Whenever my brain starts rambling on, I start delving into self-disruptive thoughts which more often than not lead to sad, upset and depressive moods. They are tiring, exhausting, unsettling and at times really make me question the point in living in the first place.

On top of this, they often come with associated dysphoria and dysmorphia, making me feel like this monstrous, chubby…