I have been suffering from depression for years, most of which untreated, and two days in without my meds I am already experiencing a new episode.

Whenever my brain starts rambling on, I start delving into self-disruptive thoughts which more often than not lead to sad, upset and depressive moods. They are tiring, exhausting, unsettling and at times really make me question the point in living in the first place.

On top of this, they often come with associated dysphoria and dysmorphia, making me feel like this monstrous, chubby t…. worthy of nothing but everything that I am going through.

So, what shall I even begin with?

Myself in my Ashnikko hoodie.

Sex Worker, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “a person whose work involves sexually explicit behaviour”. It sounds pretty right, doesn’t it? Oh well, what if I added that the line right after this one continues like this “especially: PROSTITUTE”.

Now, it goes without saying that when someone hears the term “prostitute”, their reaction to it can vary from a harmless shrub to vainly slander. That is how it is, our society has been stigmatising sex work for centuries, with some light improvements over the past few months. However, while claims might differ, opinions…

I love pizza more than anything else (besides dogs), yet it managed to put me in a very dark place.

Photo by Nik Owens on Unsplash

At this point, I think we have all understood that I suffer from depression and anxiety. However, have we actually realized its magnitude over my daily life and the ones of those you love who also suffer from it? Let’s see…

I know, “everyone has those moments” etc., etc. (btw, never should you say something like this to someone suffering from depression because you will thus only cause frustration and even more unstable moods). …

95% of trans-friendly men prefer pre- or non-operative transgender individuals. Whilst for post-operative trans women, it is particularly hard to engage in a stable relationship.

This is what my aspiring SD told me, after he had previously said that our relationship would most likely not be a long-lasting one. To this, kind of filled with amazement and confusion, I replied why it is so. All he said was that there is interest and curiosity in those men towards our [hermaphroditic?] bodies and since I was to undergo the surgery a few months after, that would marked the end of it.

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

I know I cannot predict it, but I want to believe that “everything is going to be alright”.

Reviewing a mental health service that on multiple occasions let me down…although it might have been my fault.

When I first moved to the UK, two years ago, I started a new chapter and for a while everything was going for the best. Then, the anxiety that had been haunting me for years hit again and I decided to contact a therapy service to see if they would be able to help me. The doctor had provided me with a few leaflets, listing all major (free) services available in my area.

Photo by Yura Fresh on Unsplash

I did not know much about any of them…

How do I live my hair situation, and how much importance do I give to it as a 20-year-old trans woman?

I remember being a little kid with my buzz-cut, rolling around the playground while pretending to be a fairy of some sort. Back then, I didn’t have much say in what type of haircut I should have worn, so for years, I never even questioned if I could do something different to it. But I had my methods to overcome such restrictions.

T-shirts: my favorite wig

Many might already be smiling or laughing at this and understand what I’m talking about. When you are a kid and cannot grow your hair, there is one fast, effective, and fun simple way out: making a wig…

My explanation to why I am not gross, but how this is actually something that loads of people go through.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

When I first got interested in someone as a teen, I noticed how, while everyone was complaining from their odor, I never had problems with it. Instead, I did not find it bad, but actually pretty attractive! Why though?!

I feel like an animal

It is a commonly known fact that animals have the ability to determine their mutual liking by sniffing one another. This way, they can determine whether or not the other’s genetic heritage is good enough for them to mate with. …

It gives me the momentary illusion that someone is actually into me

When I came out to my parents and closest friends, I knew that a good deal of things would have changed, and dating was ultimately one of them. At first, I was decided not to cave in and let myself “grow” into my new body, while the hormones where doing their thing and in view of different surgeries.

Photo by Andrzej Suwara on Unsplash

However, since I had dated someone in the two years before my coming-out, I knew how it felt and did not intend to abandon that fantastic sense of intimacy, closeness and comfort with someone else.

That way, I soon began delving into…

Every time I walk down a street, a yard, a field, a path, my thoughts start rambling on and a maze develops within my mind. I might scream, cry or even beg, the possibilities are basically endless when no one is around to stop me. I spent many days of my life laying in a bed of self-commiseration, waiting for a brave soul to come to my rescue. It never happened.

Photo by Arek Adeoye on Unsplash

It took much time, but if there is anything that such bad periods have taught me is that after all, the only person who can actually save you is…

It has already been two years since I moved to the UK to study…so, what do I think? How do I like it? Is it worth settling here? Should you do it too? Well, if you have opened this article, wondering about any of these questions, you should probably keep on reading.

Photo by Aron Van de Pol on Unsplash

I am Alix, I am 20 and left my country (Italy) two years ago to study in England and these are my top 6 things you should know before moving to the UK.

1. Obtaining the NIN (National Insurance Number) is fundamental to work.

The NIN consists of an identification number assigned to each individual who intends to work…

🧝‍♀️ A 🍑

Pan & Transgender 20yo UG in Modern Languages, Also a Camgirl, an OF model and a Cosplay Addict | Photography & Video Editing Are My Favs 🧝‍♀️📹

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